devilcomplex | OPEN POST

( Peter has a horrible tendency of avoiding what he doesn't want to think about. the longer he can go the better, sometimes long enough that the problem will resolve itself or disappear due to his inattention. he does his best to keep things that bother him packed up in the dusty boxes of his mind and anything that knocks them over or disrupts those memories is usually something he distances himself from, just as a matter of self preservation.

sometimes it's places. he can't go to the Chinese place he'd broken up with Gwen in front of anymore because it just has too many memories. he doesn't like to go down the street his uncle bled out on, in fact he'll go blocks out of his way not to even see the street sign. there's a dozen little places he'll avoid if he can help it, because of too many memories that hurt too much.

turns out, though, he avoids people just as easily. it's really not fair to suddenly pull a disappearing act on Matt when he's the one who brought up Gwen in the first place. objectively, Peter knows there'd been no intent behind it, because how was Matt supposed to know? Peter should have known better than to mention her at all, it just all got out of control and then it was too late. sometimes it felt like his refusal to talk resulted in the words spilling out of him like blood from a wound, the second they had a place to land.

part of him thinks it's for the best. what he said was not untrue, they are not dating and maybe they needed to stop dancing around it as a possibility. if they cut it off now, it'd be easier for both of them. that's what he'd been telling himself the first few days of not bending to his normal habits of texting Matt with pointless nonsense, and sleeping in his own bed instead of breaking into Matt's apartment to sneak into bed with him instead. it was for the best, Gwen was a lesson he refused to unlearn and while Matt doesn't think he needs protecting, he's just as capable of being targeted if the right information fell into the wrong hands. just as human if Peter makes one dumb mistake.

the only way to avoid losing anyone else is to just not have anyone to lose.

turns out, even if staying away is for the best, it isn't easy. in fact the longer he goes the more impossible it feels, which is depressing, because it's only been a few days. if staying away was the right thing to do, why does it feel like hell? Peter hates himself for it but he's had enough people vanish from his life, both by choice and not, to not want to do the same to someone else. he feels very much his age in his uncertainty, wanting to avoid the complications and the dangers of caring while equally craving to not be alone, to be with someone who understood him, and... yes, someone he really cared about already. it was too late to stop.

it's late but not so late that it's more morning than night. Peter hadn't meant to, but walking familiar sidewalks of Hell's Kitchen had just brought him here, and he's tired of being strong and pretending he doesn't need someone. he doesn't even know if Matt is there, chances are good he could be out breaking faces for the good of the city. and yet here he is, at the door for once of all places, and feeling incredibly out of place and a heartbeat from bolting and yet his feet aren't going anywhere. he finally lifts his hand to knock, and before he can the door opens on its own. Peter is surprised for a half second before he remembers who he's dealing with. )

Sorry, ( he says, and whether it's for haunting the outside of his apartment or not talking to him in three days or just being the disaster of a person he is, hard to say. probably all of the above, honestly. )

This guy sounds like an a hole

Well, you like doing it to me. You like me telling you what to do.

look at his hair in those gifs

captcha overflow for WEBDESIGNED

no subject