( that's the lawyer in Matt that thinks he can win an argument against Peter's guilt. it might not be the catholic kind but he's been carrying it for years now, it's not just going to break lose without a fight. he still feels it, weighted around his shoulders, especially as he craves to cave to Matt's words and his touch. Gwen doesn't get the chance to move on, have another shot, why should he? in the end that is almost as compelling as his genuine terror that loving someone will put them in the line of fire — he feels almost too guilty to move on when Gwen is gone and never will.
Peter doesn't relinquish Matt's hands immediately, despite the tug. it's sad that he'd almost rather Matt be angry with him, because it'd almost be a relief to have someone hate him for what he's done. Peter feels as if he certainly deserves as much. it takes a minute to sink in that it's not the argument closer he thought it'd be. what is he supposed to do, now that he's out of excuses? this is the same fight he'd had over and over with Gwen, and he knows how much the back and forth and hot and cold had hurt her. is it really as easy as just accepting the risk for a chance at being happy?
probably. still seems easier said than done, though Peter reluctantly releases Matt to do whatever he wants with his hands. unsurprisingly it is just to draw him closer. ) I'm having an emotional crisis, here, stop talking about my ass. ( it's a joke, which is a good sign, even though his tone is still a little more watery than he'd like. it's pretty far from the ball of anxiety he'd been when he'd walked in the door, though — Matt is very convincing, turns out. )
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Peter doesn't relinquish Matt's hands immediately, despite the tug. it's sad that he'd almost rather Matt be angry with him, because it'd almost be a relief to have someone hate him for what he's done. Peter feels as if he certainly deserves as much. it takes a minute to sink in that it's not the argument closer he thought it'd be. what is he supposed to do, now that he's out of excuses? this is the same fight he'd had over and over with Gwen, and he knows how much the back and forth and hot and cold had hurt her. is it really as easy as just accepting the risk for a chance at being happy?
probably. still seems easier said than done, though Peter reluctantly releases Matt to do whatever he wants with his hands. unsurprisingly it is just to draw him closer. ) I'm having an emotional crisis, here, stop talking about my ass. ( it's a joke, which is a good sign, even though his tone is still a little more watery than he'd like. it's pretty far from the ball of anxiety he'd been when he'd walked in the door, though — Matt is very convincing, turns out. )