( Peter shakes his head, almost hopelessly. what kind of relationship would it really be if they could never touch each other, never give any appearance of being together, unless it was just the two of them? no, he doesn't want that, even though the alternative feels objectively more terrifying than something secret and brushed under the rug. is it really as simple as Matt makes it sound? Harry is trapped at Ravencroft for the foreseeable future, but not forever. what happens when he gets out? what happens if any of his other superpowered problems figure out who he really is? Peter isn't really worried about the reverse, either, if any of Matt's problems came his way he'd be fine. he could throw Wilson Fisk like a frisbee if he wanted to. Matt is the squishy, slow to heal human of the two of them.
despite being nonconvinced that cutting out PDA will protect them, Peter does allow Matt to pull him closer. and closer still into his lap, as if no amount of close is close enough. it's something Peter usually finds endearing, still does, despite the fact there's still the tiny in the whisper in his head about what a big mistake it is to let himself even consider what Matt is saying.
it's really hard to focus on freaking out about distant possibilities when Matt is talking about Coney Island and whispering in that intoxicating way of his, that manages to paint a picture of what he sees, even when he doesn't see at all. ) You'd make a killing at Whack-a-Mole, ( Peter reflects with a laugh that's more sad than anything. he'd like that, he'd like to go together, he'd like to try and explain all the roaring sound and activity to Matt and do dumb things like play for stuffed toys he doesn't need and steal Matt's cotton candy. he wants all of those things, Matt isn't alone in wanting. he just has convinced himself that wanting was dangerous for so long, he's almost afraid to consider what it would be like if he let himself.
he only has one last lingering defense, and it feels like Matt practically glossed over it. Peter forces himself out of the lull that Matt is trying to coax him into, and damn him if it isn't working. Peter has to catch his hands and hold onto them, because if he doesn't he knows he will melt to them, he always does. )
Why— why do you still want me, after what I told you? Matt, I mean it. I killed her. It was me. It's not some guilty conscience talking, I snapped her neck trying to catch her. You should hate me — I know you don't kill, and you wouldn't want to be with someone that does. ( Peter has hated himself for killing Gwen for so long it is truly baffling that he's confessed his worst crime and Matt doesn't seem interested in hating him for it. )
no subject
despite being nonconvinced that cutting out PDA will protect them, Peter does allow Matt to pull him closer. and closer still into his lap, as if no amount of close is close enough. it's something Peter usually finds endearing, still does, despite the fact there's still the tiny in the whisper in his head about what a big mistake it is to let himself even consider what Matt is saying.
it's really hard to focus on freaking out about distant possibilities when Matt is talking about Coney Island and whispering in that intoxicating way of his, that manages to paint a picture of what he sees, even when he doesn't see at all. ) You'd make a killing at Whack-a-Mole, ( Peter reflects with a laugh that's more sad than anything. he'd like that, he'd like to go together, he'd like to try and explain all the roaring sound and activity to Matt and do dumb things like play for stuffed toys he doesn't need and steal Matt's cotton candy. he wants all of those things, Matt isn't alone in wanting. he just has convinced himself that wanting was dangerous for so long, he's almost afraid to consider what it would be like if he let himself.
he only has one last lingering defense, and it feels like Matt practically glossed over it. Peter forces himself out of the lull that Matt is trying to coax him into, and damn him if it isn't working. Peter has to catch his hands and hold onto them, because if he doesn't he knows he will melt to them, he always does. )
Why— why do you still want me, after what I told you? Matt, I mean it. I killed her. It was me. It's not some guilty conscience talking, I snapped her neck trying to catch her. You should hate me — I know you don't kill, and you wouldn't want to be with someone that does. ( Peter has hated himself for killing Gwen for so long it is truly baffling that he's confessed his worst crime and Matt doesn't seem interested in hating him for it. )